Feeling Sketchy

Having a problem to work on is all very well, but not if it keeps an anxious feeling stirred. I want my sewing to be a calming thing, soothing. I want it to be something that helps me take lovely deep breaths, not hyperventilate! Sketching helps me get there.

As I write this, I am two weeks into bed-ridden sickness. I think it might be my body’s way of saying, “Stop!” It’s really making me rethink how I go about things – usually constantly driving forward to the next idea, not satisfied with all I’ve already managed. This can be known as ‘Achiever Fever’. It’s exhausting, and my body is letting me know.

People often say that in periods of extended illness they have time for rethinking, sometimes for a small epiphany. Mine might be that I must find a way to calm down. I must stop talking about the idea of being good enough, and actually behave in ways that suggest I believe it! Now that is a common ailment, isn’t it? So many of us are niggled by that unpleasant feeling that no matter how well we’ve done, it isn’t enough.

But, I think I’m beginning to realise why it all has to have been enough. It’s always been more than enough! How can I change my behaviour to suggest I actually believe that?

So today, I’m feeling sketchy. I’m in bed, recovering, teasing in a new mindset that might just make it okay to relax a little bit. My all-round health is requesting it.

One of my favourite things in my creative practice is seeing a lovely sketchbook page come together – a tipping out of ideas, catching an excited energy for possibilities. I love it! It’s really helpful for collecting options, looking at what may or may not work.

Maybe more of this can help me shuck the old Achiever Fever. Maybe more of this can help me appreciate I have plenty of good stuff going on.

Maybe ‘feeling sketchy’ is a good motto for the next little while. My health and happiness will be grateful.